Nah, but those yoga pants do!

This blog is all about dressing your curvy body and embracing the fact that you, unlike others in the female population, actually have the curves to fill out the clothes people make.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I would kill for bigger boobs!” or “I wish my butt was bigger!” I bet you thought to yourself, “You wouldn’t want them if you had them.” That was my reaction to anyone who said something about wishing they had my boobs. Because these suckers are hard to dress. And don’t even get me started on bra shopping! Apparently a 36 DD doesn’t exist in the natural, need support, those flimsy straps are going to leave major indentions, world. And in the stores that honor us blessed individuals, apparently we’re all over 80 and want them down to our knees. No thank you! So when I heard others talk about how lucky I was, I had to laugh. That is until I realized that a little larger of a chest actually looks the best in clothing. Go figure.

Believe it or not, the majority of clothing made for women is made for a curvy, hourglass shape. Not saying all curvy women are hourglass, but the majority are. We have a little boob and we have a little butt and we have a little middle. I’ve realized this through my extensive knowledge and research, okay, I work in a women’s clothing store. But taken from someone who dresses women for a living, I will say that dressing an hourglass shape is the easiest and most aesthetically pleasing. So the next time you look at clothes and think, I’ll never be able to pull that off, remember that it was more than likely made for your shape.

Here are some quick and easy rules I’ve gathered about dressing a curvy body:
1. Shop in the women’s section! I cannot stress this enough! I don’t care if you are 13 or 103, if you have the curves of a woman you should be wearing women’s clothing. And yes, I understand that some of the clothes may not be your “style” but I can assure you a clean classic look will always look better than whatever the trend is. Think stores like Express, J. Crew, Banana Republic, New York and Company. All these clothes are tailored to fit a woman’s body, but still offer cute pieces.
2. Low rise jeans are your enemy! Have you ever seen a girl who looked like she had two sets of hips because one was in her jeans and the other above the waist line? This is what wearing low rise pants on a curvy body does. My suggestion is a mid rise. It will hit right at the hips creating a clean line. It won’t be uncomfortable and it won’t look like mom jeans. But it will accentuate your hips and make your legs look super long! I also recommend a dark wash on the bottom.
3. Make sure your clothes fit! I’m not talking about tight and I’m not talking about loose, but fitted. You don’t want the dreaded muffin top, but you also don’t want to look like a slouch. You should have your clothes, “tight enough to show your curves, but loose enough to show you’re a lady.” You can thank Marilyn for that wonderful advice.
4. Don’t ever take anything at face value! You never know what something will look like until you get it on. It can be hideous on the rack but look excellent on you. Make sure to look for the potential in clothes. Also, don’t be afraid to alter them to the way you want them to fit. Add a belt, cinch the waist (a technique that will always make the curves look excellent), pin it, tuck it, do whatever it takes to get the fit that you want and need.
5. Most importantly, nothing you wear outside will look good if you aren’t wearing the proper garments underneath. Make sure to get regular bra fittings. Especially if you’ve lost weight or have noticed, ahem, an increase in the assets! This will make sure all clothes are fitting properly. I also recommend getting fitted in a few different places. Different stores carry different brands. Just because you’re a D-cup in one store, it doesn’t mean you are in all of them.

I hope these help. I hate seeing a beautiful curvy woman wearing clothes that do nothing for her body. Being confident in clothes is all about seeing how good you can look in them. Try different styles and see which you like best.

I bet you just read that in Regina’s whiny voice. Let’s hope so.

This blog is brought to you by my inspirational nightly bubble bath, the chocolate cake I had for dinner, and a glass of wine. All of which make me feel better about myself.

To start off let me say that I am in no way a nutritional expert or a gym rat guru. I’m just a normal girl who happened to lose quite a bit of weight. Here’s my story.

Once upon a time in a land called Kentucky, there was this girl (me) who really liked her mommas fried chicken and if something didn’t have gravy on it, it wasn’t worth eating. This girl was extremely unhealthy. So she made a change.

If you missed my parentheses, that girl was me. Yes, I carried around 220 pounds on my 5’1 frame. Not good. Not that some women can’t handle or look fabulous at that weight or any weight for that matter, but I was not healthy! I was the girl who got winded going up the steps or it took entirely too long to walk a mile. My weight issue started not with me gaining weight (although we will talk about that) but with my obsession to lose weight.

Growing up I had body dysmorphic disorder, a disease that basically makes you see yourself completely different than you actually are. And this disorder works in two ways, either you see yourself as extremely fat when you aren’t, or you see yourself as skinny when you’re actually overweight. I was the first type. If you’ve read my “Over the shoulder boulder holder” post then you know I was a stick growing up. Until my freshman year of high school I was very skinny, although I always thought I wasn’t. In a way I blame my mother. She was and still is constantly on diets. Regardless of whether she needs to be or not. And I grew up in a home where someone was constantly criticizing their body. So from the time I was in 5th grade I was on a “diet”. I weighed literally 70 pounds. My real issue started when I began middle school (as most problems do). I was the girl who wore the 00 or less but was constantly watching what she ate. I was perpetually on a diet. I really wanted to weigh 85 pounds. I wasn’t anorexic. I ate. But it was always diet food and never a lot (my sister actually battled anorexia and almost died her 7th grade year). What most saw as bones I saw as fat. It was a constant struggle. One that I didn’t recognize as what it was until long after I’d gotten over it. The turning point in my problem did not happen voluntarily. Instead I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. A disorder that stunts growth and metabolism. Because of this, I have to take supplements to have a metabolism, my body doesn’t produce one naturally. I was officially diagnosed the end of my 8th grade year. Also, in that year I gained nearly 40 pounds in about a month. This was a huge shock to my body and my disorder. I went from being able to control every single thing my body went through to having no control at all. It was horrible. So I completely back peddled. I gave up. On everything. From 8th grade until my senior year I gained almost 140 pounds. A lot due to my disease but also due to my own hatred of it. My mind said this, “It doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll still be fat.” This was a horrible mindset to have. So, I decided to beat my disease. I wasn’t going to let it run my life anymore than it had to. So, I made a change.

My change officially started my junior year of college. I almost died of heart failure. I was carrying around too much weight on a frame not intended for it and my heart couldn’t take it. My chest pains became so severe that I was nearly hospitalized. Thankfully it was treated before it caused irreversible damage. But it was scary and it was a wake up call.

I started losing weight by going back to the old habits I’d had in middle school that I knew worked. But let me tell you now, eating low amounts of calories is not the way to lose weight! I was so wore down and exhausted that exercising was the last thing I wanted to do. It’s like someone giving you a toothpick and telling you to build a house. My body was saying, “you only gave me 300 calories today, I am not giving you energy!” So my body constantly went through ups and downs. Which also caused my stretch marks, something I’ll live with forever.

What really worked for me was realizing that it wasn’t about how much you put in your body, but what you put in it. All those low-calories, low-fat, carb free diets are crap. I ate so many carbs I thought I would die, and I lost 60 pounds. The key is to eat whole wheats, whole grains, leans mean, fruits, veggies! All the things in life that are natural and good! The whole myth that if something tastes good it probably isn’t good for you is a myth. You can eat amazing foods and still eat healthy. Here are my tips for healthy eating:

1. Cook every single thing you put in your mouth, or at least prepare it yourself. Sure those little microwaveable meals are easy but they are not healthy! At all!
2. If it grows in a plant, you can have as much of it as you want. This means fruits and veggies. Even potatoes.
3. Don’t eat portions bigger than the recommended sizes. This was a major thing for me! As long as serving size was taken into consideration, you could eat it. Just don’t go overboard.
4. If you have a craving, you can give in. Like I mentioned, I had chocolate cake for dinner. Do I do this often no, but will I want chocolate cake again for dinner, absolutely not. It’s all about moderation and not making yourself feel like you’re dieting.
5. Don’t call it a diet. Because all diets are doomed to fail and we don’t fail.
6. Find healthy alternative for meals you already love. I make a low-fat personal pan pizza that is absolutely to die for. I’d rather have it than a full fat one any day.
7. Just because it has low-calories, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy. You can have like 60 mini cheese ball puffs for 140 calories, but you probably shouldn’t.
8. Drink water and lots of it. It’s a natural weight loss supplement and will help you stay full longer.
9. Never ever take weight loss pills. Period. End of story. I’ll be mad if you do.
10. And finally, reward yourself for good work! I made myself a sticker chart (yeah, have I mentioned I’m a teacher?) and gave myself a gold star for each time I met a goal or resisted falling back into old habits. I also put it where I knew people would see it. It kept me accountable. I also recommended keeping a food and exercise log/journal.

Now, diet is not the only thing that needs to be changed. I also changed my physical activity. I began running, up to 3 miles a day. This definitely wasn’t easy. The only activity I had was getting up to get another snack. This was probably the hardest part because it took the most dedication. It also took the most time. You don’t just go to running three miles overnight. I had to condition my body. But it was well worth it.

Overall, I did not lose the weight because I was unhappy with how I looked, although looking back now I realize how much better I feel about myself now, but because I was going to die if I didn’t. I come from a family of heart problems and I was putting so much work on mine. I do not in any way think that anyone who weighs 220 pounds or more is fat. I think fat is a mindset. You are how you feel. But I do encourage everyone to follow a healthy eating lifestyle regardless of if you want to lose weight or not. And yes, it’s easy to fall back into old habits, and no it’s not the end of the world if you eat McDonalds for dinner. Just know what you’re eating. As you can see from my twitter, I don’t always eat at home or make my own food, but I do it more often than not.

I hope this helps those of you who do wish to make a change. But I will say this, if you can’t love yourself at your heaviest, you still won’t love yourself at your smallest.

And now my water is cold and I’m officially a prune. Yes, I wrote this in the bath. So what.

My first body insecurity stems from my breasts, my boobs, melons, tatas, bazongas, tits, whatever you choose to call them, they are large and in charge. And all this started way back in seventh grade. Yes, I’m still somewhat insecure about what some seventh grade boy said to me literally ten years ago.

When I started my 7th grade year I was the only girl who hadn’t “gotten her boobies” yet and it was horrendous. I still wore those little training bras with the girly cartoon characters on them. I was also extremely skinny. Think size 14 in little girls skinny. I was a stick. So when all the boys were oohing and ahhing over the other girls’ “massive” B-cups (because let’s face it, that’s about as big as they get at that age) I felt very left out. They even had a little chant about how my chest was as flat as my back. Not cool kids. Not cool.

Anyway, because of all this I prayed and hoped for some sort of boob to just pop up over night (it doesn’t happen like that, but it seems like it does) and for the universe to align and all to be right in the world. Didn’t happen. So I tried stuffing, gel bras, water bras, I even tried to a push up (I don’t know what it was supposed to push up on me, skin I guess). But of course nothing worked, all I got out of it was convenient kleenexes, which did come in handy during the winter. To say I was majorly bummed was an understatement. I wanted boobies damnit!

Well guess what, I got them and lots of them. Between my 7th and 8th grade year I grew from non-existent to a C, almost D, cup. It was awesome. That is until I went back to school. Turns out, boys are mean regardless of if you have boobs or not, they’ll still have something to say about them. Apparently the summer before my 8th grade year I’d had a boob job. Did you know that? I sure didn’t. But that’s what everyone concluded. I’m sure it was true too. Because not only could my parents afford it on teachers’ salaries, but doctors are sure willing to give them to 13 year olds. So I went from being the flat chested girl, to the girl who got a boob job. And guess what, boys still didn’t like me. Turns out no one looks good in 7th grade and I had horrible eyebrows and for some reason wanted to be sun-in blonde (if you know what sun-in is, you’re on my level).

Regardless, the point of the story is to not care what someone else has to say about you. And don’t focus on things you can’t change, like 7th grade boys.

Why am I still somewhat self-conscious then? Do you know what happens when someone grows boobs that fast? It’s the equivalent of growing during pregnancy. Only instead of getting a baby in nine months, I got boobs in about three. And they didn’t look good either. Imagine D-cups on a frame of a ten year old boy. Not attractive.

I still sometimes see myself as that skinny girl with big boobs, even though the rest of my curves have caught up. And I still sometimes hear those chants. But I would like to point out, that not only did I grow into my boobs, they also grew up and out and look pretty damn amazing most of the time. And those 7th grade boys all wanted to see them by freshman year. But guess who didn’t let them, this girls. Besides what I made up for in boobs they lacked in other places, if you know what I mean.